Starbucks keeps it predictable: coffee in every costume imaginable. You’ve got the classics—lattes, cappuccinos, americanos—alongside the sweeter crowd-pleasers like caramel macchiatos and seasonal concoctions that come and go like migrating birds. There’s also cold brew, iced shaken espressos, refreshers, and teas for the non-coffee folk. If it’s caffeinated (or pretending to be), they probably have it.

Food-wise, it’s grab-and-go comfort: breakfast sandwiches, egg bites, pastries, cookies, and the occasional protein-packed box for people pretending to be healthy. Most locations offer mobile ordering, loyalty rewards, and the usual café setup—tables, Wi-Fi, and a soundtrack that makes you feel slightly more productive than you are. Facts. No fairy dust.